I haven’t blogged in quite awhile. I have so much to talk about but I just don’t have the time. Being a full-time stay-at-home mom to three small children is incredibly demanding and sometimes a bit overwhelming. I feel like I rarely have time for myself or the things that I want to do because so much responsibility is placed on my shoulders. I’m not complaining though; I love being a mom and I take pride in doing the best that I can to raise our children the best way I know how. My children are intelligent, well adjusted little people and the time that Dorian and I devote to enriching our children is obvious when you interact with them.
Sometimes I feel like I get lost in the shuffle though, almost like I’m losing my identity to my family and my devotion to them. Sure, the house work gets done, Dorian has clean underwear in his drawer and my family is more apt to eat a home cooked meal that anything from a fast food drive-thru, but there aren’t enough hours in the day to fulfill my family’s needs and satisfy my own. As a devoted mother and wife, how do you choose to decide to fulfill your own needs before those of your family?
I foresee many quiet nights in my immediate future. Maybe I can siphon off some of that time to indulge in a guilty pleasure, like blogging, or pinning my heart out on Pinterest, or reading. And don’t even get me started on my Amazon wish list…Dorian will probably yell at me to get some sleep instead of staying up and letting my mind wander, but…I just can’t. I can’t be everybody else’s everything all day long, then just go to sleep without doing something for myself. I need my sanity. I feel guilty if I neglect my housework to indulge in something I would want to do for myself instead, and honestly if I sit still for too long I’d probably fall asleep (which is why Dorian always scolds me about not sleeping enough and I rarely play video games, even though I like them). So therein lies the conundrum: How do I find a healthy balance between satisfying myself and fulfilling my family’s needs?
Family first or not? Am I being irrational? Have you found yourself in my position? How did you handle it? Let me know, leave a comment below!